A Parent's Guide to Internet Readiness for Children

Deciding when to introduce your child to the internet can be challenging, especially with the rise of technology in our everyday lives. This guide offers a developmental framework for parents, making it easier to decide on the right age and milestones for children to start accessing the internet.

Disclaimer: This guide is meant for general informational purposes. Every child is unique, so use your judgment and adapt these recommendations to suit your child's maturity and needs. Always consult a professional if you have specific concerns about your child’s online safety.

We all know the story of Little Red Riding Hood: A mother sends her daughter through the woods to Grandma’s house with strict instructions not to stray from the path. But then, a sly wolf tricks the young girl into disobeying her mother, eventually eating both her and her grandmother. Luckily, a hunter comes by, kills the wolf, and rescues them. And the moral of the story? "Never disobey your parents."

Wait a minute—that’s the moral of the story? Never disobey your parents by getting off of the trail?

What if there was something on the trail—like, I don’t know... A TALKING WOLF!!! Why didn't the mother prepare her daughter better or go with her? Shouldn’t Little Red have been warned about the dangers she might face?

As amusing as this tale is, it has a serious parallel in our lives today. While we're not sending our kids into wolf invested forests, we are sending them into a different kind of forest—the internet. And instead of hungry wolves, there are online predators using tricks like grooming, sextortion, cyberbullying, and cyberstalking.

If we want to protect our kids in this digital forest, we need to do more than give them vague instructions. We need to prepare them for what lies ahead. This guide offers some food for thought as you navigate the world of online safety for your kids.

Remember: The internet is not a right, it's a privilege. If your child misuses it, they may not be ready for that responsibility.

So when should you allow your child online? Here’s a general guideline, organized by maturity level. While I am using age ranges as a general guideline, the child's maturity level is the more important indicator.

Ages 0–5: Foundational Stage

• Developmental Milestone: Exploration, language, and basic comprehension.

• Internet Use: Not Recommended

  • Why: Kids this young can’t fully grasp the internet or its risks. Focus on hands-on learning and supervised screen time with educational content.

• Device Access: Minimal and closely supervised.

• Suggested Activities: Interactive apps for learning shapes, colors, and numbers.

  
  

Ages 5–7: Early Elementary

• Developmental Milestone: Basic reading and comprehension.

• Internet Use: Minimal, closely supervised.

  • Why: Kids this age enjoy educational games but lack the judgment to navigate online risks.

• Device Access: Shared family device with time limits.

• Suggested Activities: Child-friendly educational apps like ABCmouse or PBS Kids, always supervised. Start basic online safety conversations (e.g., not sharing personal information).

  
  

Ages 8–10: Building Awareness and Responsibility

• Developmental Milestone: Improved reading and basic tech skills.

• Internet Use: Light, with monitoring.

  • Why: Kids are curious and capable of exploring games or videos, but still need parental controls and guidance.

• Device Access: Family or child-specific device with internet filters.

• Suggested Activities: Educational websites, age-appropriate games, and social learning apps. Interact only with known friends and approved content.

  
  

Ages 11–13: Introduction to Limited Independence

• Developmental Milestone: Greater comprehension, critical thinking, and social interaction.

• Internet Use: Moderate, with boundaries.

  • Why: Tweens start socializing online, which can be positive with guidance but requires close monitoring.

• Device Access: Family or personal device with strict parental controls, like a Bark Phone. Do not allow 24 hour access to a device since many scams such as sextortion tend to happen while a child is in a room alone with the device. I recommend establishing times when it is okay to use the internet, then keep the device in the parent's room.

• Suggested Activities: Limited social media like Messenger Kids, school research, and educational sites. Very few, if any, children need a device with a data plan at this stage in their life.

  
  

Ages 14–16: Practicing Digital Responsibility

• Developmental Milestone: Growing independence, social skills, and reasoning.

• Internet Use: Increased freedom with parental guidance.

  • Why: Teens are developing online identities but still need oversight to avoid harmful habits.

• Device Access: Personal device with gradually relaxed parental controls as trust is built.

• Suggested Activities: Social media with boundaries, digital hobbies (like creating videos or coding), and school projects. Discuss digital ethics, mental health, and the importance of authenticity. Do not allow the teenager to interact with strangers on the Internet!

• It is at this stage when the device may turn from a want to a need if they have a job or extracurricular activities that require them to communicate with their boss or coaches. I would recommend installing monitoring controls such as Life360 to the device in order to monitor the child's behavior and physical location.

  
  

Ages 17–18: Transition to Independence

• Developmental Milestone: Mature thinking, responsibility, and independence.

• Internet Use: Mostly unrestricted but with family values in mind.

  • Why: By this age, teens should handle more freedom, but still benefit from guidance as they approach adulthood.

• Device Access: Personal device with optional monitoring based on maturity and trust.

• Suggested Activities: Job applications, college research, and personal interests. Emphasize online reputation, professional presence, and cybersecurity.

The best advice that I can give is to put off your kid's life online as long as possible. Encourage them to go outside and get dirty as opposed to wasting their childhood in a vegetative state staring at a screen.

Alternative Options: There’s no harm in starting your child with a basic flip phone, which can teach an early lesson in “not keeping up with the Joneses.” Remember, go with your gut—you know your child best. Delaying these stages until they’re truly ready is fine. Your child won’t be harmed by not having a smartphone. They may resist, but open conversations about family values, internet safety, and device usage will help them understand your reasoning.

Ultimately, this is about guiding our kids through the forest of the internet so they’re prepared to face the wolves when they’re ready.